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Brock Lesnar on his Chest Tattoo October 12, 2007

Posted by skribbel24 in WWE.
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“A CHEST TATTOO IS BOUND TO PLEASE THE LADIES”
By Brock Lesnar

(not really by Brock, but read on.)

More than smooth pick up lines or even penis size, a chest tattoo will get a hot chick’s motor running and you gettin’ some major action!

Check it out: this sword on my huge pecs looks like it was totally made from steel, man! I showed it to the girls down at the bar the other night, and they could barely contain themselves! One of them even called over her friends to have a look at the Brock and I can still remember her words: “Oh my God, Amy! You have GOT to be kidding me!” When I told that babe that it was for real, she and her amigas doubled over in what surely was an effort to conceal the fact that their panties were getting wetter by the second. I could so tell by their grins and looks of elation that they wanted to go for a ride. See? Nothing beats having that tat.

Girls like a guy who looks dangerous, like he’s been in prison or something. A chest tattoo would totally give you that look. You should go for something wicked or gnarly like a skull, or a cross, or a sword–but not too much like mine, you don’t want the ladies thinkin’ that you’re ripping off old Brock here. Maybe a heart with a sword through it, like Scott Steiner has. He gets some major tail too, why else would they call him “Freakzilla?” It’s because that tattoo is bitchin’. Hey, if you’re like Mexican or something, you should totally get the Virgin Mary tattooed on your chest to totally represent la raza!

Just remember that when you’re making your plans, do it at one of the quality shops in America that does a lot of skulls and roses and junk–don’t bother with those shops that custom design their shit or do those wierd-looking symbolic junk. That shit’s for hippies and queers, and you might get AIDS. A parlor where a lot of Navy guys go to get their drama mask skulls done is bound to be clean ’cause those guys ain’t homos like you have in the city; so clean, that you don’t have to worry about those dudes sterilizing their needles.

So why aren’t you running out the door yet? Get the tattoo dude, and tell the ladies that you got it while you were up the river; that’ll give you even more of an edge. And when you’ve got them right where you want ‘em, just tell them here comes the hard time!

CHEST TATTOOS RULE!!!

This article, fictionally written by “Brock Lesnar”, was written by RedQueen of The Wrestling Industry Times.

Don’t forget to check eBay for this week’s customs!

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Comments»

1. bob - December 7, 2007

haha youve got to be kidding indeed! LMAO queer.

2. 7@$#@ - December 29, 2007

LOL……=)

3. Nerf - January 25, 2008

looks like a penis on his chest…

4. Andreas - February 18, 2008

Absolutely horrible – what a bad taste.

5. ... - December 22, 2008

that brock figure actually doent look that bad….. how much?

6. marco - January 14, 2009

looking ripped,yet i think i know what you mean..that sword isnt gonna cut the deal i think..

7. You're All Ignorant. - January 19, 2009

lol First of all, Brock’s already married to Sable. Secondly, the tattoo has a meaning; he left WWE, didn’t have a steady way of making money, and here’s the big part, he felt like he had a knife being held to his chest. FFS people, do some research, or stop wasting Internet space. ;)

8. ZMannZilla - March 13, 2009

To the above poster: Welcome to the wonderful world of satire, where facts are just roadblocks on the path to punchlines.

Also, my fiancee wrote this article, so I do appreciate giving her the credit. Click on my name to read other articles by myself and my fiancee at The Wrestling Industry Times…

9. RedQueen - March 14, 2009

Wow, RedQueen here… Glad you liked this! I wrote it a very long time ago; so long ago, in fact, that I had forgotten that I wrote it.

10. lei-pain - March 15, 2009

R.I.P Andrew Test Martin

11. wesley - March 15, 2009

aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

12. lei-pain - March 16, 2009

wat does aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

13. billgoldbergrules - April 29, 2009

how much for the christian return attire

14. Kyle - May 2, 2009

I don’t care about your tat. Chicks dig me because of my looks. I just got a chick 2 days ago. Brock, Inflatables dig you. Leave the chick magnet stuff to me and the Miz. Did u know that the Miz used 2 be Joey Mercury. Wait a minute, Skribbel24 make a Joey Mercury figure.

15. tyler walker - June 24, 2009

do you have a myspace?

16. tyler - June 25, 2009

i think it looks ok

17. 2010 in review « Skribbel24 Wrestling Figures & Customs - January 2, 2011

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